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Get your head out of the gutters

Writer's picture: Magnolia McComishMagnolia McComish

My arm swings like a pendulum with my fingers clenched to a seven-pound bowling ball. I release and it instantly glides left. It lands in the gutter before it has a chance at hitting any pins. It’s okay, no one expects me to be a good bowler.


On my second ball, still in the first frame, I lock eyes on the headpin. The ball thuds a third of the way down the lane. It smashed into the pins, and they all tumble over.


Everyone is shocked that I got a spare in my first turn. I can’t even remember the last time I went bowling, but I know it was more like my first ball than my second.


I start the second frame with a gutter ball, then I hit nine. Standing at the end of the lane I watch the pins mechanically reset. I replay the feeling of sending the ball down the center and the satisfaction of watching the pins push each other over. Maybe I can do well at bowling if I focus enough.


At 5’2’’ and no more than 100 pounds I’ve only ever been good at long-distance running. The four friends I’m up against expect the silly, unathletic elegance I bring to other ball sports we’ve played together. Somehow bowling is different.


I approach the ball rack thinking, just do what you did in the other two frames, but on the first try. Without hesitation, I launch the ball straight down the middle. The ball floats over the hardwood. There is no hook, it is a bullet into the pins. They all go down. A strike, I got a strike.


Mia Bennett, a friend I am playing with says, “Maggie, what the heck, you said you’re not good at bowling.”


Then, I do it again in the fourth frame. Two strikes in a row. I am leading by 19 points in a game that, arguably, takes skill. This is very out of character.


Another friend says, “There’s just no way you can get a turkey, I would go crazy.” If I did get three strikes in a row, it would prove my athletic capabilities for years to come.


On my first try, all hopes of a turkey go down the gutter, literally. I only manage to knock over four pins. Someone says, “That’s more like it.” I finish the game with empty frames and fouls.

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